Well, it did make me feel weird, but I got through it.
I quoted Harold Bloom, William Shakespeare, some Latin maxims, referenced some of my current favorite websites like ---www.blendapparel.com (a VERY COOL SITE, so you'll know) and my own stupid blogs and by the end of the interview about my novel "Rey De Diamantes," (The King of Diamonds), I was kinda feeling it.
Well, sort of.
So here's the thing. I don't speak Spanish. I am able to pick- up a little, but only when it is spoken really really slowly, which it never never is. I totally understand the weather girl on the Univision. I mean, who doesn't? She's got the map, the rack, the pa-dunk-a-dunk. Oh, I get it.
And, those sexy telenovelas? I can last the required 3-5 minutes, ya know? Oh, snap!
But when it comes to being interviewed by a Spanish-speaking entertainment reporter, it got pretty weird.
I think I may have either offended everyone south of the border, down Mexico way, or perhaps ordered a butt load of taco salad. I'm am still not sure.
I mean, I studied Latin for a total of six years. And I speak an Italian dialect picked-up from the relatives on my mom's side and from a few gangsters I've met along the way.
Bottom line? I have a dinner date next week in LA with a very pretty columnist... or maybe I'm getting with her brother, the one who likes magic. Not sure.
As for the discussion of my novel, The King of Diamonds (Rey De Diamantes) I think it went well. I answered all of the questions the best I could-
YES, I DID complete the novel in less than 100 days.
NO, I DIDN'T base my characters on real people.
YES, I AM 600 pages into my new novel.
NO, I DON'T read any fiction while I'm writing.
YES, I AM flattered to be compared to Bret Easton Ellis.
What am I reading now? 'The Great Derangement.' MATT TAIBBI is one of the very very few writers who can make me laugh out loud.
Other than that, it was pretty cool. Somebody said something about my hair (I think that they may have liked it, especially after I confirmed that it was, in fact, real). Several commented on the black sweat/sweater with gold & silver design (a Brad Butter-ish gift from my bro Bela).
The final call came from some twenty-something who may be sending me his headshot as he claims that he is perfect for the role of handsome young Darin Diamond. At least that's what I think he said. It could well have involved a head of lettuce, and a diamond ring. Who knows these things?
I have decided to learn Spanish. Seriously. What a punk I am for not just doing it.
I wish you a great week. Plan out your dream and then follow it through.
And if you want to have some fun, late at night, tune into a Mexican soap opera and make up your own story line. Late late last night, my latest plot line involved a bag of weed, a thermometer, Gloria Estefan, a waterbed, some members of Menudo, and a mouthful of Fizzies. Weird, huh?
