Sunday nights are rather quiet around the casa, and I like it that way, so, hearing that the Food Network was airing a sneek-peek of their Cupcake Wars, to be hosted by my friend JUSTIN KREDIBLE, I decided to stay close to home and hearth and enjoy the program.
What I saw was THE WORST television ever, needlessly brutal, senceless and horrible in every regard. Shockingly indecent.
I haven't seen much TV lately. I mean, I do watch House M.D. over on Fox, just to try and figure out what the hell is wrong with me. After several seasons, I've concluded that whatever it is that's screwing with my vision, it isn't Wagner's disease. (It's never Wagner's, even that dopy Australian doctor with the floppy hair knows that!) But hey, I'm hep. Once I finally found the remote, I starting clicking into the double-digits.
I didn't even know that food had it's own network. Imagine my surprise to learn that basic cable includes all the basics of life: Food, Oxygen and even a network for sleeping (C-Span). There are channels for blacks (BET) whites (Hallmark) and guys who'll never get laid (SyFy). There are so many movie stations that, sometimes, for laughs, it's fun to flip around, just to watch Kevin Spacy's hairline move in and out like the tide.
I was aware that HBO airs some pretty sexy late night stuff but my remote's been acting up ever since that grease fire. Sex is one thing but violence is another (right?) and yet here we are, in the middle of Cupcake Wars.
Last night's Cupcake Wars episode was called, 'Baking Bread,' and man was it fierce. It featured Bryan Cranston as a cook who hired Malcolm as his assistant. In one early scene, ingredients were being picked up and, in the process, several people were shot and killed. It was appalling.
JUSTIN KREDIBLE plays a rather sleazy lawyer. I hardly recognized him. But he was good; Justin's always very good.
I think if Cupcake Wars is going to be successful, The Food Network should consider giving JUSTIN KREDIBLE more screen time, and, try to cut back on the bloodshed. Oh, and maybe have Malcolm man- up.
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