Thursday, December 30, 2010


MARTIN AMIS on sex, money and movies. It is just as funny the second-time around.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Radiotransinfo William Watters Internet Radio Part 2

JS: We are back and my guest is a friend of more than ten years, William Watters. Will, you didn't know we were live last hour?

WW: I tought we were taping. Prolly wouldn't have mentioned my penis so much, ya know?

JS: You got your start in radio.

WW: Smooth.

JS: Thanks.

WW: As a teenager. Eddie Hudson, the greatest voice on radio, was the voice of K-Bay, etc. Today there's a cool cat named Patrick with a Sirius Satellite show Coacktails with Patrick, a sexy pop culture show aimed at young women, where they go inside the male mind. That guy Patrick Meagher is the best guy I ever heard do radio ever. Ever."

JS: You were telling me that you wrote the Sinatra radio show.

WW: I wrote every word. Tony Anzaldo was like 17 and I was a year older and we first got into the National Association of Broadcasters, went to the big shindig in San Francisco. Yes, I have always believed in the power of radio.

JS: You couldn't practice law for a period, you got involved with bad people in the Nevada Black Book.

WW: Old news. I can now but I've dedicated myself to writing. BUt I was treated fairly and that's all in the past, plus I didn't talk about it then and as a result was suspended so I'm sure as hell not going to talk now.

Can I go back to broadcasters and tell you a Sinatra story? The old man was at Caesars, and his show had like 1000 members of the broadcast industry, radio and TV. I was quite young, hanging backstage, taking it all in. So after he does three opening songs he greets the broadcasters and then proceeds to lecture them, scolding them for saying "A-leven, A-mergency" and not Eleven, Emergency. They laughed but he was serious. Frank Sinatra watched a lot of news, always had CNN on in the dressing room. When he said things on stage, he meant them, that was his venue to talk straight becasue he wasn't speaking to anybody in the press. Imagine how amazing it was when Frank Sinatra recorded an interview with me, when he allowed me access to talk to him. Of course all we spoke of was music because I wasn't interested in the gossip. I wanted to know why he recorded this song again etc and I'll tell you, he wanted to know my opinions here and there. Seriously. Amazing.

JS: When Norbert Aleman came on the scene he hired you as his right hand man and he had like 5 or 6 shows going. How did that come about?

WW: I love Norbert. I miss him. He never calls but if ever needed anything, I'd be there. It was weird because Mr. Riklis who owned thr Riviera hired Frank Sinatra Jr's manager, Tino, who hired Jilly Rizzo and of course my best friend in show business Vinnie Falcone. Then Sam Distefano was named the VP of Entertainment so within a month, all my friends came into power.

I went to dinner with Frank Marino, oh, a while back. We're very good friends. I mean, we have different life styles but he calls and says he's taking me to Sinatra's at Wynn and he did, telling me he signed with Imperial Palace for his Divas. I was one of the very first to know. I am so fucking proud of that guy. He has this huge gay, hip following, like that great looking newsman on Channel 8, Chris? And I know they all must look at me and wonder how it is Frank and I are so close. Just wait, I'll have some cosmetics done and those bastards will be dying to meet me for a drink!

JS: Chris Saldana?

WW: What a good-and good looking newsman he is. You know I'm writing a TV script about a newsroom and have been watching loads of TV. Whit Johnson? He's on CBS network now but I first saw him here in Utah. What a great voice and a handsome guy! Him I like too.

JS: You are writing novels but you told me you want to write a Las Vegas entertainment book.

WW: I do. I will. I started on with our mutual friend Jahana Steele. Then I talked to Frank Marino. I have some taped interviews with Joey Bishop that he did with me. We would fly down to Orange County every week and Joey liked me so one day he said "Why don't you tape this?" I got out my little Sony. I'd taped Frank Sinatra talking about the big bands, about Bogie and even about The Beatles. and Sammy shared some great stuff too.

I want to call upon someone like Louie Anderson. He understands good writing. He isn't afraid to open a vein and bleed on the page. I wonder if he might work with me. Hey Lou? Get me a jelly doughnut, Lou.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

DECEMBER 14, 2010

Tranzscipt- William Watters December 2010

JS:I guess I should start by saying that we have been friends for a few years and that I'm a fan of your writing and the work that you do.

WILLIAM WATTERS: That means, what? What I do to feed the needy?

JS:No, I was meaning that I've seen some of the production shows you have worked on in Las Vegas, in Lake Tahoe and know of the fact that you have done all kinda work that is uncredited. Some of your talents go unsung.

WW: Well let's start singing, babe.

JS:You don't mean that but I do have a list of questions that listeners can learn from if you will be serious and answer them. The first one is very personal.

WW: Eight and a-half.

JS:You don't need to tell me. I have been to your all night pool parties back in the day.

WW: Settle down.

JS: You forget that you dated my best friend for a while.

WW: And his name was what?

JS: Funny but that brings up a rumor that you're gay.

WW: I like to say I'm 17% gay.

JS: But you're straight so why keep it up?

WW: SOunds like a stright line. I'd like to get something straight between us. Do you know I actually used that line?

JS: Did it ever work?

WW: Who the hell knows? The truth-and this is really the truth- I had a hell-of-a-lot of fun back in the day. We'd go out and night always with sunglasses, because you'd need them at some point.

JS: Did you ever get into drug use?

WW: Hey, it was the 60's!

JS: No it wasn't. It was the late 90's.

WW:Can I tell you some serious stuff? Seriously? What I am most proud of over all the years is the positive things I've done to encourage talent. I mean that and I know it sounds corny but I was the guy who always tried to help, to help make it work, from An Evening at La Cage to Splash to Peter Jackson's Abrakadabra.

JS:Where you slept with 80% of the cast, by the way.

WW: Hey, I was sleepy.

JS:How has Las Vegas changed?

WW: It's all Cirque, which is gross. Too much shit happening all over the stage, nobody has to be great. All about costumes and music that's too goddamn loud.

JS:You worked with many headliners from Sammy Davis to...

WW: I love Jerry Lewis. I loved him when I was a little kid, I adored him when I worked as a page on the telethon when it was at Caesars and I am crazy about him today. Jerry Lewis is a great man.

JS: What about all the new magicians?

WW: Most of them suck. They have no idea who they are, they don't understand that they are playing a characger. Houdini was a character. Val Valentino was a character, who played the Masked Magician.

JS: Where is Valentino?

WW: Witness Protection i think. No, actually he's a huge star world-wide. he's in Brazil now where they love him.

JS: When's the last time you spoke?

WW: This morning. Look, if I'm your friend, it's for always. There's a magician named Jason Latimer. The best I ever saw at what he does.

JS: Do you rep him?

WW: I've never met him, although he was so cool as to suggest a lunch in LA with his people. He's a cool one. R.J. Cantu is a young actor who gets the magic, the role of the magician. My money's on him. Him I love. Justin Willman is kicking ass all over the world. I'd take credit but some cat named Jason Mraz loves him more. He's great and I'm proud we're friends. He's got a manager named Michael Schibel who is a real hustler and you know I mean that in the greatest way. It's like when your coach told you to hustle, you know?

JS: Not a clue, but you know I love you Will. So tell us, is Las Vegas entertainment dead?

WW: Yes but I can revive it. I know how. Give me a lounge, a small showroom and space on the sign and I will pack people in, I swear. Right now, however, everyone's doing the bottle service shit.

JS: Can you stay for some more questions?

WW: The truth? I have nothing to do until like 2012. No, I'm hard at work on a new novel and am punching-up a screenplay for my brothers at Warner.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


He's an easy going guy, a fine journalist who works hard at getting it right, but never seeming to get uptight in the process. Since 1999 he's been telling Las Vegas Review~Journal readers what's what, penning two books and throughout it all, keeping it real.

He is NORM CLARKE and he's so the man.

I have friends, clients and so many talented associates who stay up late, trying to get thier names into the #1 show business column in Las Vegas- NORM! Imagine how flattered I was when yesterday, in honoring what would have been FRANK SINATRA'S birthday, I discovered that NORM's Sunday column included a few quotes from me. It meant so much to a guy who hates getting press, but who loves knowing good journalists. DOUG ELFMAN always crafts columns that are interesting to the very last drop of ink, beautifully covering my beautiful friend JASON MRAZ and so many other talented performers. Doug always finds a hip, cool angle and he's an angel, really, but I start most days online seeing what's doin by clicking onto my man NORM. So do hundreds of thousands of others.

The late DICK MAURICE from the Las Vegas Sun was always kind to me and DON USHERSON was cool a time or two but nobody has the street cred-or Twitter tread- like NORM CLARKE. To paraphrase the film Butch Cassidy, if Norm told me I left town five minutes ago, I'd believe him.

NORM launched his successful career after winning a $50,000 state lottery. I won $100,000 on a TV gameshow and am having fun making risky investments and practicing risky behavior. We may be different but one thing's for sure: if NORM puts it in writing, you can take it to the bank, or casino. That you can bet on, baby.


Thursday, December 9, 2010


House of H2o knows a bit about magic and magicians and we've been following the rise of R.J. CANTU.

R.J. CANTU. the likeable young ABC-Family actor, has been hard at work re-working the art of magic. With exciting lighting and high-energy staging, R.J. is hitting the L.A. clubs hard, performing his magic to a pounding, pumping sound that's blowing people away, night-after-magical night. Each show seemingly breaks out spontaneously with a hot D.J. fashioning fresh sounds to help score R.J's amazing performances. It's the nuts!

R.J. CANTU is the Next Big Thing. The Next Big Fucking Thing.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


DAX ------------------------------------------- MAX

I received a nice note from a friend saying that he LOVED that blond guy on TMZ that I'm always talking about.

Wait, MAX or DAX? There's a pretty big difference, man.

DAX will hand you a photo, tell you to turn it on its edge, squint, stand on your head and, in black light you can just about see the girl's rack.

MAX will just straight-up say, "Hey, nice lady lumps, Babe!"

DAX is a really sweet guy, a good man who posts photos with his beautiful wife in front of historic European landmarks.
MAX will shoot off iPhone pics with topless chicks on the beach at Santa Monica.

I love TMZ. I do. The host, HARVEY LEVIN, is a PAUL ANKA stunt double who keeps everything moving. There's a dark-haired girl at the far right with great glasses and beautiful teeth. She's looks like the hot daughter of the porn version of SARAH PALIN. Plus she gets to sit next to Max which must be a gas, or just gassy.

On the other side is the pretty blond who is too cool to sit up straight. She happily talks about penis and other fun stuff and I know she'd be a riot on a date.

The former fatty knows more about Las Vegas (and, oddly, Laughlin Nevada) than anyone. The dude in the thick glasses behind the computer is definitely the subversive on the set. I dig the two chuckle heads in back, cracking-up each other and never shaving. Oh, and I think Charles is the coolist guy in the TMZ world. There's EDDIE ADAMS in the way back, like the piano player in a whorehouse, ready to deny knowing anyone if the cops arrive. He's the smart one!

So which blond guy is the one to love? MAX or DAX?

Well, if you're DAX's wife, I know who'll you'd pick. Me too. I love MAX!


Sunday, December 5, 2010


In our continuing effort to increase traffic on our site, we post this, just knowing plenty of CIA and National Security types will be clicking on to see what's what.

To those of you hoping to cut-into some terrorist plot: you can eat it, too.

Friday, December 3, 2010


If you're reading this on FACEBOOK, please provide a caption to this photo. First place wins a night with me, Second place wins two nights.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


A gift from Christmas present.

House of H2o wishes you a beautiful future.


Tuesday, November 30, 2010


The House of H2o is the place where people come for a fresh take on what's poppin' in pop culture. We've helped discover new talent, predict winning performers and done our part to promote some very cool projects, and we're just getting started.

In 2008, we found WILLIAM WATTERS, a longtime Las Vegas entertainment attorney and talent manager who had given it all up to dedicate his creative life to writing. Two novels, three television pilots, a screenplay and now a reality series later, H2o is proud of our this hip writer. The world was saying that writing didn't matter but WILLIAM WATTERS went the other way.

We're sifting through the hype so we can help point out the authentic things, the real talent, the originals. From comedy genius NICK THUNE, who will be taking his one of a kind humor to a new TV venue when he appears on CONAN in January to SERGIO VELLATTI who is lining- up jazz club dates in Hollywood, 2011 promises to be epic. We hear that EVAN LOWENSTEIN'S is going to take the art of intimate performance to a whole new level. Las Vegas loves a winner and EVAN LOWENSTEIN is the guy to bet on. Young R.J. CANTU's first major motion picture is a mystery set in Hollywood. 'Footprints' premiers on the east and left coast in March.

This coming year will see THE MAKEPEACE BROTHERS spreading their love to many more millions of music lovers. We are happily keeping an eye-and ear- on actor, singer JOSH HENDERSON who continues to prove that when you follow your bliss, the universe will support you.

2011's gonna be the nuts!

As the holidays approach, we ask you to remember not to drink and drive. Please do drink, however. And when you make your friend a Jack Daniels and whatever, don't forget to use GOOD ICE. Friends don't let friends drink drinks with bad ice.

Those limp -dick half-moon cubes that come plopping out of your refrigerator door are sometimes fun to suck on but for drinks, well, they suck.

Get out those old metal ice cube trays, fill them with warm H2o and freeze 'em up. Your friends-and drinks-deserve good ice, baby.

House of H2o is proud to suggest:

www.Kold- These guys have one cool company.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thursday, November 25, 2010


I have lived my entire adult life in Las Vegas, Nevada, and, over the past twenty years, I've worked with most of the big name stars and high energy shows, helping make me one of many Las Vegas spokesmen. I love that and I love the tourists.

It's Thanksgiving and I'm at the Las Vegas Hilton Sportsbook when a cool young guy comes over to my table and asks for directions to a place south of us, just off of Dean Martin Drive.

I knew DEAN MARTIN at the end of his career and was so proud when Clark County renamed Industrial Road DEAN MARTIN Drive. I'll cherish every funny memory of this memorable star and am so proud to know members of the family, especially the talented singer and radio host DEANA MARTIN.

I happily give the guy directions, which he types into his iPhone, checks the Google map, shakes my hand and then leaves. A minute later he comes back into the sportsbook and, over the noise of multi-football broadcasts and loads of other losers like me who are spending the holiday in a casino, yells, "Hey? What do I do after I go down on RICKY MARTIN?"

You couldn't make up a funnier moment. It was like in the movies when everything stops. I think I even heard the scratch of a record, bringing the place to a screeching halt.


Then, the laughter exploded.

The young guy was embarrassed. He held up his hand, hushed the crowd and said, "Okay, okay, my bad. I meant to say: What do I do after I go down on DEAN MARTIN."

An old timer looked up from his Racing Form and yelled back, "Ask Mrs. Martin."

I love Las Vegas.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Wisdom from the House of H2o.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Forty years ago, RAM DASS wrote 'Be Here Now,' a book that helped millions live life in a new way. Now, in 'Be Love Now,' Ram speaks of love to a new generation, and man is it beautiful.

Love isn't a place or destination, it is a state of being so surrender to it, to yourself.

House of H2o 2010 required reading and recommended Christmas gift is 'Be Love Now' by RAM DASS.

Friday, November 19, 2010


The airport pat-downs have gotten so out of control that now there's a boycott being organized online. Really, people are feeling violated by all of the feeling going on. And let's face it, we're not feeling any safer.

Here's an idea:


No, really, hookers. I say that we hire prostitutes to do the pat-downs. Prostitutes, or as they're called in some states, "massage therapists," know how to rub you in just the right way. They do. I say we offer a special Prostitute Pat-Down Line in all of America's major airports (I think we already have one in Reno. Not sure). Travelers will happily pay for the service, so that's, like, good, right?

Everybody wins.

A happy ending, or safe landing, or whatever you wanna call it, will be had by all.

I think they'll go for this and if they do, I'm working on a list of in-flight gambling bets, like, "Guess which flight attendent isn't gay" and "Pick the baby to vomit first," you know, family friendly games of chance. The proceeds, minus my 20% fee, could help this great country of ours.

God bless you and God Bless America.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


I'm just going to do it, open up, just let you know what I'm working with. You see, I tend to drop the names of my beautiful and talented friends, and can't wait to write about their successes but I now feel the need to let you know the truth about me, about the kind of man I am, I want to be.

I continue to be inspired by a select group of talented people, beautiful souls who move me in many ways, and while I'll only hint at specfics, I'm naming names. The list will never be complete as it continues to grow, but at the core are people I love. Yup, I said it, I LOVE THEM, YOU. Tonight it's some of the most beautiful guys. This list is an example of the kind of people I'm proud to have influenced my life and, sometimes, me theirs.

I am inspired to continue to try to be the kind of person I fancy myself. And who is that? I'll tell you- I want to be that soft voice in your ear, the guy who says, "You can do it," or "I am so proud of you," or maybe just, "Fucking great!"

But I'm more than a voice, I'm a man of action. I am ready to do whetever I can to help you move from where you are to where you wish to be. You want to work New Years? Good, I'll help set it up and gladly write your opening remarks. You need a tune for that convention show? I'll happily co-write a song. You need a name and number? Call me, I'll look it up.

I'm not in any position to be specific, but please know that I have done some helpful things over the years, but those stories are for others to tell-or not. I just want you to know that I live to continue to work with talented people. I'll not-so-humbly put myself among the artists; another, more stable part of me is here to assist the writer who struggles everyday.


Guys can be beautiful. Here are some who come to mind, eleven real forces of pop culture that move us all-

JASON MRAZ- Shares his love of music with the world. Jason reminds us of a simple truth: leap and the net will appear.

EVAN LOWENSTEIN- This talented singer is also a savvy businessman. is a beautiful thing, man.

JON MARRO- What an artist and teacher. If each of us creates our own reality, Jon's is really, really beautiful.

BEN EASTER- The actor and photographer has become an expert on the art that he loves. He hugs his talent and I love that.

NICK THUNE- The most original comedian of our time. Nick Thune is a genius, and I never use that word.

JUSTIN WILLMAN- The likeable, magical emcee and TV host is soon to be a superstar. Bet on it, him.

JOSH HENDERSON- The coolist young actor in Hollywood who is fast becoming a respected pop singer. Beautiful for serious.

R.J. CANTU- This ABC-Family actor and close-up magician is intent on bettering himself, making us the better in the process.

VAL VALENTINO- This charming magician put on a mask and pulled-off a coup. His biggest secret: he's the sweetest guy ever.

SERGIO VELLATTI- This young singer captured the Sinatra sound without ever trying. Big is beautiful, baby.

PAUL CRIK- Paul's philosophy: "Killin' it." He'll help you kill it, too.

Hey? I love you guys. I do.




If you want to get something done in Las Vegas, you just have to call BRUCE MERRIN.

BRUCE MERRIN'S Celebrity Speakers & Entertainment Bureau is the best PR and ad agency in town.

The photo above should be captioned 'Royal Flush' because, thanks to Bruce, here I am, with KING ERRISSON and DR. SHELIA STIRLING.

NEIL DIAMOND'S conga drummer of 30-plus years, KING ERRISSON is the real King of Diamonds!

Now that's a pair to draw to!



FRANK SINATRA, JR., backed by a swinging 20-piece big band playing some of the best arrangements from the Great American Songbook, brings his fine show back to Las Vegas this weekend, at The Orleans.

If you go (and I hope you do) don't view it, him as a sequel. Excepting The Godfather, the follow-ups never measure-up. Instead, go to see a singer from the old school (actually, from the school they tore -down to build the old school) with a 50-plus year show business career doing what he loves: sharing great music.

FRANK SINATRA, JR. at The Orleans this Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


It's Daylight Whatever time and I'm up early. With nothing on except those pricks at Fox Sunday, I put on Comedy Central and was blown-away by one of the FUNNIEST guys I've ever seen, ever.

Over the years, I've booked my share of comedians and consder funnymen like JUSTIN KREDIBLE, TOM DREESEN and JOHNNY DARK close personal friends. For many years, BUDD FRIEDMAN's Improv had a Las Vegas club located next door to our La Cage and Crazy Girls, upstairs at the Riviera Hotel & Casino. I'd often stop in to catch the next big thing. In addition to being the Riviera's Entertainment Director, SAM DISTEFANO was one of my best friends so when he'd suggest I check out a comic, I always would. FIELDING WEST, PAT HAZELL, GILBERT GOTTFRIED, and so many more that I kinda grew imune to it.

Becasue of all of that hilarity, today it's not easy to make me laugh. NICK THUNE is a comedy genius for serious but let's face it, most of the other comics have only a decent couple minutes: the rest is filler. But not JULIAN McCULLOUGH.

JULIAN McCULLOUGH is funny from start to finish.

If you will, watch Julian on YouTube telling the story of the lady on the bus with a chicken. It is funny as hell. Funnier.

JULIAN McCULLOUGH is a real artist, painting such vivid-and funny- pictures that won't be soon forgotten.

God bless all of the authentically funny comedians. Wait- He already has.


Saturday, November 6, 2010


"Happy Birthday."

There, I've written it. You have too, countless times. You've said it, sung it and probably meant it each time. Good for you. Not me, though.

When I got to be old enough to think about it, forgoing the angel food and forgetting Baskin & Robbin, it hit me. What's the big deal about your birthday? No, really?

I'm sure that, in past centuries it was a big deal to live, to survive. I mean, the infant mortality rate declined about 95% in the past century. In the past, when you made it to another year, it was really cause for celebration. Today? Not so much. What matters is what you've done with the past year, man.

Last night, at a very hip Hollywood nightclub on Sunset called Boulevard III* a special friend of mine had a party marking a quarter century of life. Twenty-five years? Hell, I've got girlfriends older than that. Wait, no I don't. Anyway, for many people, 25 is just a number, but for my talented friend, a guy who has accomplished so much, including likeable roles on television, in film and especially in "live" performances on stage, he's had a helluva year.

Several years ago, I got myself mixed-up in the shooting of a TV pilot. It was produced by a guy I knew with Ralph Edwards Productions and, if it'd sold, would have been one of the very first reality shows. MTV had a hit with 'The Real World' and everyone was trying to get into the act. Ralph Edwards had hit shows in the 50's, 60's & 70's like 'This Is Your Life,' 'The People's Court,' and 'Name That Tune,' and this was to be a mix of reality and game show. So, for whatever weird reason, back in the 90's, I was cast to appear in something to be called, 'Your Neighbors,' playing, well, playing myself. I'd made the mistake of telling a story on camera about how, on my birthday, I'd send my mother a 'Thank You' card, because, after all, she'd done all the work. The producer of the show got me to tell that story on the show, making me come off as a momma's boy. Oh, by the way, the entire show stunk. Last I heard, it was shown to prisoners down at Guantanamo who begged to be transfered to Abu Ghraib. I guess a water board is better than being bored to death.

How bad an actor was I ? Let me say it this way: last week I received my first offer to appear in a friend's pilot television show. In other words, it took fifteen years for the stink to disappear.

I like Boulevard III. I do. I'd go there with my young & restless friends when it was a cool poolhall. Last night it was filled with a new generation celebrating R.J. CANTU's birthday, and that's great, but if I were him, I'd send his mom a note because, twenty-five years ago, he didn't have any lines; she did all the work.

* Andrew Boulevard III is the host to hook you up.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


There's a company here in Las Vegas called PR PLUS. It was founded several years ago by my talented friend LAURA HERLOVICH.
How taleneted is she?
Let me tell you a story.
Back in the 90's, Las Vegas was changing and changing fast. Older (and just plain old) shows and stars were giving way to Rock n Roll. Thing is, nobody knew quite how to handle the rock stars. Well, one girl did: LAURA HERLOVICH!

I'll never forget the opening of The Hard Rock Hotel. For whatever various reasons, I've been invited to all of the major Las Vegas resort openings of the past 20 years. Sometimes, like at the MGM, it was because I was dating the right woman at the right time. Multiple times, I came with a big star and once I think I got on the VIP list because they mixed me up with WILLIE NELSON. That period of my life is a little hazy but I do remember The Hard Rock. AEROSMITH rocking out in a giant tent, right on Paradise Road. And who set it all up and made sure things went well? LAURA HERLOVICH! THe Hard Rock locked up Laura's services and, last I checked, she's still the one.

So I'm in my old friend's office for a meeting the other day and hanging right over her desk, looking east (at me) is this great promotional photo of JACKSON BROWNE. Now I was at that Hard Rock show, and here's what happened: people who know anything about me know I'm crazy about the music of JACKSON BROWNE. He's THE poet of our time. Just as the show is closing, a nice young guy comes over and asks me to follow him. He's leading me backstage. Now I pretty much grew-up backstage, and continue to spend many nights behind the scenes of Las Vegas shows and in the dressing rooms of our stars but, when we arrived backstage after that show, and I saw Jackson, I turned and went out into the casino. Two Jack Daniels later the casino host found me and asked why I'd disappeared. "I wouldn't have known what to say." In other words, I peed down my leg.

Years have passed and I've since spoken to JACKSON BROWNE and on at least one occasion I may have even made sense, but I'm still not sure. I do know that I'm still looking for a lover who won't blow my cover.

We had a wonderfully creative meeting with Laura and here's wishing PR PLUS many more years of success here in Las Vegas.

Saturday, October 23, 2010



Wednesday, October 20, 2010


There's an up-and-coming singer I keep hearing about: SERGIO VELLATTI.

Because of some of the work I've done in Las Vegas, including having written and produced the very FIRST Rat Pack tribute show, (with permish, btw), and my association with many big shows and stars, including a certain blue- eyed Italian-American singer, people feel the need to send me links to new singers, usually lame or just lousy, and that's fine, because I don't really take any of that stuff seriously and I usually, as the saying goes, 'fuget about it," but lately, I've been seeing a name that I can't forget, a guy I've been hearing about over and over: SERGIO VELLATTI.

SERGIO VELLATTI is a singer you'll remember.

It's a cool name, memorable and masculine and guess what? So is he. Yup, I checked him out, and it turns out that, in addition to loads of good songs on YouTube, Sergio has launched a website where you can hear him sing, and swing:

Most of these new singers couldn't swing if they were on the end of a rope, but Sergio undersatnds the Sinatra swingers, and the ballads, too. And hearing his great big voice sing classics like 'Spinning Wheel' will make your head go 'round. This guy isn't afraid to let the blood sweat and tears flow and that is the mark of greatness.

If you like good music, the great standards and newer pop songs, sung by an up-and-coming straight-up great singer, please visit Sergio's site.

I'd like to say that I discovered him, but I will share something really amazing: this good looking guy with the beautiful voice just discovered himself. He did. He has great instincts but the truth is, the world of professional singing is new to him. I say we support this fine young talent.

In America, the way we vote for artists we like is to buy their music and tell our friends all about it. SERGIO VELLATTI deserves your vote.

Now, let's tell everyone.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I wanted to post a new Facebook photo and, after hearing that I should smile more by more than a few friends, I decided to do one. A picture, not a friend. But the thing is , I really-really-don't like taking pictures. I mean, if I'm posing with several of my great looking friends, great, because, like guilt, my looks improve by association.

But a profile pic? Ick!

I have a friend who happens to be blind. She used to see shadows but now- nothing. And she's cool with it. I often say, "Hey, there are some new films opening on Friday, you wanna go hear a movie?" I know, I'm a dick.

So tonight she was telling me that she can hear when I'm smiling, and that she liked it. So I asked her, "Lisa, would you shoot a picture of me, you know, smiling?"

The first two I wasn't even in the shot but the third-and final- one came out pretty OK. At least that's what she just told me, so I'm going with it, and her.

By the way, she picked out the shirt, so's you know...

Sending love from The House of H2O

Las Vegas, Nevada, U.S.A.

Monday, October 18, 2010


God, I didn't want to write this. And how silly am I going to look, thinking there's internet in heaven. But maybe someone will read this and not do what you did, they'll not kill themselves.

I have a small number of loyal readers, people interested in my opinions, but, up until now, I've never gotten too personal. I've never once told anyone what to do, until today. Kids are under so much pressure to fit in that gay teens are taking their own lives in record numbers so we have to do something.

God I miss you today. I remember you buying me that purple shirt, at Chess King, at the start of the school year. I loved that shirt because you told me it looked good on me. You were dead a few weeks later.

What you chose to do wasn't cowardly. In fact, I think it took guts, but it was so very selfish. I mean, did you not stop and think that it'd fuck me up for real, forever?

One night, a few years back, a girl I was seeing was going through a box of my photos, you know, trying so hard to get close to me. She held up a great shot; you and me, poolside in Palm Springs. "He was so handsome," she said, and I loved her for saying it.

I still do that first magic trick you taught me. And wow- years later, backstage at Caesars Palace, I'd do it for none other than ORSEN WELLS, who chuckled and asked, "Where'd you learn that trick?" I proudly replied, "My brother. He was a magician." You were.

How many times on the set of 'Las Vegas' did I see you in the likeable star JOSH DUHAMEL, and how weird I must have seemed when he'd come over and say 'Hi," and I'd just stare, missing you. There are times I have to look away from the television, when the handsome Australian surgeon comes on screen to talk to Dr. House. And young JOSH HENDERSON, especially when his hair was longer and lighter, is just about impossible for me to look at, but I've found a way to cheat tears. I'm using him as a character in my new novel, bringing you back to life if only on my Mac and if only for me.

A guy told me once to always do your best and to go out of the house looking your best because you never know who is watching. That was you-you told me that, teaching me how to dress, reminding me that grooming isn't for sissies. Well, I took your advice but you didn't. You took your life.

There are tough-as-nails guys like writer STEVE FRIESS, living life out loud. My friends in the LGBT community should be proud of men like Steve, and they are. Me too.

To anyone who thinks that life sucks because you're different: Call someone, hell, call me (702.808.6306).
To anyone who feels bullied because you're not like the others: Tell someone, hell, tell everyone.

And to anybody who is thinking that life isn't worth it: Please think about those who will be left behind and then live, live another day. I'm begging you. Please.


Monday, October 11, 2010


It happened again.

"Do you know who you remind me of?" The question was simple but I've heard it too many times before. It had ugly implications. The sweet voice of a pretty young thing called out to me as I crossed the lobby of Las Vegas resort this afternoon. Okay, here we go. I turned back to her and smiled.

"You ever watch MTV? The Kardashians? The reality show?" All of her sentences were going up at the end. Not good.

"Sure." I said.

"You know Brodie? From 'The Hills?' Brodie Jenner?"

"Yup" I was hoping it'd drop there, that she wouldn't go up.

"You know his dad? Bruce? Bruce Jenner? THAT'S who you remind me of."


I don't think that it's a very good idea to compare people you meet to the famous folks you see on TV. I do think it's a handy shortcut when describing a friend to another friend. You know, like when you're trying to get your buddy to ask out your girlfriend's friend, go ahead and compare her to some celebrity. I know that you've done it before and I'll bet when you did you made a point to compare the girl to a way hotter celebrity. You did.

How about when you are trying to get your buddy a date. You lie like hell. You do. You compare him to JARED LETO and you have no so-called idea in life who JARED LETO is. Or you'll say, "He looks kinda like that X-Man actor, JAMES MARSDEN. You liar. You just said that because your friend happens to have cool sunglasses.

But, and here's the thing-when you tell someone that they remind you of someone famous? Take it easy!

There's a young, up-and-coming singer I know, a helluva great looking model named KADEN McNEIL. Great guy, fine voice, cool look. He's really something this guy, but maybe I'm weird because when writing about him, I feel NO need to compare him to anybody. (Besides, if you want, just check Google Images for KADEN McNEIL).

I mean, what if I had said to the girl in the lobby, "Have you ever seen a young Lauren Bacall, I mean, back when she was was first starting out and really glamorous? Well, the guy she was married to? Humphrey Bogart? You look just like him!"

My point: She could have left it with Brodie.

I've met people who feel the need to tell me that I remind them of Superman, only to add, "Not the TV one or the new one, but the guy who ended up in the wheelchair."

I mean, that's just super, man. Thanks.

Now I have a great sense of humor. I do. I look in the mirror everyday, right out of the shower, and I have a full-length mirror. I know what's doin' believe me.

I just think that if you feel compelled to tell someone that they look like someone else, then, like that song says: Take It Easy.


Friday, October 1, 2010



When you're working on a writing project, it usually isn't good to talk too much about it because you risk telling-and not writing-the story.

That said, I always like it when writer friends tell me what they're working on and I never hesitate to talk about my stuff, especially novels which are so complex. I know a girl who likes me to tell her what I'm writing and I like doing it. It helps to say what I think I'm writing. Of course, you run the risk of boring the shit out of people by talking about writing so I usually wait to be asked...

What's that? You want to hear about my latest novel? I thought you'd never ask.

'CONDO: THE STORY OF HOW LAS VEGAS GOT HIGH' is about a bunch of cool people who live in a Las Vegas condominium project called La Mirage. The story begins in the late 1980's and goes up to today.

Roy Richards is a 30-something attorney with one client: La Mirage Condominiums, which, on page one, is inherited by a 20-year old Mormon guy named Brad Hughes. Brad is drunk, high, completely stoned and pretty much naked throughout the first 100 pages of the book, so he's not what you'd call a "good Mormon."

Early in the story, a beautiful dancer-Kerri Dozier-moves into La Mirage and takes a job at Jubilee at Bally's on the Las Vegas Strip.

My favorite character is a guy named Chy Rivers. Chy is a "kept man," a popular young lounge singer who is taken care of by an exotic and beautiful Saudi princess. Chy is "impossibly handsome," more beautiful than anyone at La Mirage, or in Las Vegas for that matter. He's better looking than the women he dates and he dates loads of really hot women.

There is a disabled retired gentleman, an old mob physican named Dr. Romano, who wheels through the story, freely prescribing pills and dispensing wisdom as he goes. Lainie Penn is a dark and beautiful ex-hooker and well-connected pot dealer. Anderi is a Russian circus performer who becomes the personal chauffeaur to the top female singer on the Las Vegas Strip.

Roy Richards got himself into trouble with the state bar association but Roy's an honorable guy with powerful friends so he's not hard to cheer for. Plus he is me so I like him. Brad Hughes was a little hard to get a handle on, until I just let go. It turns out that young Brad is crazy as shit and funny as hell.


Kerri Dozier is based on a dancer I knew-and loved-and Lainie Penn isn't too far removed from a tough chick I've known for a long time. Now I'll admit that the name Chy Rivers has been in my head for years. I knew a cool kid in high school named Chy and I always liked water-based last names but, the more I wrote, the harder it became for me to see this guy, to really create an interesting person and not just a character. I mean, a lady's man with loads of swagger? A guy who is 'kept' by the daughter of Saudi Prince so wealthy that the family can't even count their money? I mean, what does THAT guy look like?

When I was first writing Roy Richards I caught a break. I was talking about the book to a girl I know and the next day, she brought me a men's magazine and pointed out the actor JASON BEHR. He starred in that TV show 'Roswell' a few years back. Cool looking dude. She looks at me and says, "I think he's nice. Is this what Roy Richards looks like ? " I smiled at her. "He does now." I was deep into the first draft and could see all of my characters so clearly, except Chy Rivers. I mean, the guy was just too perfect. The women of La Mirage come out on their balconies every afternoon just to watch Chy walk to the mailboxes. Like a male (mail?) version of the Girl From Ipanema, ya know? 100% straight but admired by the guys at La Mirage too. Oh, he's not only a hunk, but dude's got a sweet voice. He sings at Cleopatra's Barge at Caesars Palace.

Well, I kept writing and as I did, the story of Las Vegas going high rise just fell into place for me. I mean, many nights I'd write until sunup, trying to keep up with it all until finally, I finished the first draft. Nearly 900 pages and wow, we have a good story.

I set aside 'Condo: The Story of How Las Vegas Got High' and co-wrote some exciting projects including a 'live' stage show. a TV pilot and also a pretty cool thing for my pretty cool friend VALENTINO. Then I created something new for the young actor and magician R.J. CANTU. You see, R.J. had me write some special material for his Magic Castle show and once that was complete, I wrote a piece called 'Vampires in Vegas,' turing the likeable boy next-door into a horrible guy underground. They are going to film 'Vampires in Vegas' later this year. Unlike recent vampire stories, I swear that this one will scare the shit out of you for serious.

Now, I'm back at it, trying to complete the final draft of my novel this year. Man I'm glad I'd set it aside. Here's what happened:

Remember the girl who gave me the magazine with the handsome actor JASON BEHR? I'm lucky to have a friend who likes to hear what I'm writing, someone with taste and, ya know, who'll put up with me. So one night, she puts in a movie, one I just knew was gonna be lame and I say, "Wait. Who is THAT?" She smiled. "His name is JOSH HENDERSON but you'll probably call him 'Chy.' " She was right. Turns out that the cool looking kid from Desperate Housewives can sing. And he's got moves!

Unlike TIGER WOODS, I never watched Desperate Housewives but I saw JOSH HENDERSON work the room at a Las Vegas club a while back and I knew when I watched the crowd that night that Josh had "it."

Now let's be clear: I'm not talking about about how cool and talented JOSH HENDERSON is. No sir. I'm talking about writing. This is about how talented I am. Well, me and also my cool friend who talks to me about what I'm writing. Okay, and a little bit about Josh too, but look, how 'bout a little love tonight okay? The writer never gets much credit, and that's probably fair because most of us are dorks.

I'm re-working the ending of my novel now and in the process I've gotten so involved with each of the characters that they have become real to me. Some of the people are idealized versions of old friends, others are based on new friends. Many of them I totally made up but here's the truth: I dig them.

I dig them all.


Monday, September 27, 2010


Television has become so damn predictable. It has. Now I know that when it's fifty-five minutes into the hour drama, they're just about ready solve the case and wrap things up for the week, or, in the case of the always cool 'Justified,' TIMOTHY OLYPHANT will probably cap a few more bad guys and be done with it, but most shows, especially comedies, are just painting by the numbers. If it's JAKE T. AUSTIN getting the laughs, well, that's fine by me because that kid's an original and the most likeable thing on Disney but most people on television today are as surprising as WILLARD SCOTT'S birthdays. (We get it, Willard, those people are all really fucking old. They fart dust. Their social security numbers are in the single digits. They dated BETTY WHITE'S grandmother. Got it!)

Talk shows, once loaded with lively and sparkling conversation, have become a place for celebrities to come plug their latest thing. Talk show hosts stick to the notes and never ask about that one thing we really wanna know, ya know? But it used to be different.

The Tonight Show starring JOHNNY CARSON was something. Here was the King of Late Night, the TV star who had the country's pulse, a comic with a team of writers, bombing from time-to-time. And it was...GREAT!

JEFF SOTZING, the president of Carson Entertainment (and also Johnny's nephew), has just completed a huge project digitizing all of the Tonight Shows. What a great resource for our American culture. I was reviewing some show recently and was thrilled to watch as some of Johnny's jokes missed. It felt so...alive!



I see that on Wednesday, NICK THUNE will be appearing on JAY LENO's Tonight Show. Now Jay never bombs, or if he does, he's making way too much noise to tell. He paints with a pretty broad brush during his often sloppy monologues, sometimes reminding me of a Gallagher concert. But that's Jay, just too busy working hard to worry about being too funny.

Watching NICK THUNE is every bit as exciting as watching any great performer who is always ready to take a risk. He's like a jazz artist who leaves a familiar-and popular-melody to explore some related themes. Many of Thune's comedy pieces are pre-produced, and you can tell that the comic kept a hand in it all rather than just turning it over to some producer. I mean, the edits, the timing and especially the music are right- on, but every punch line isn't a knock-out because he's not playing the game that way. And he never plays to the back of the house. In fact, he brings his audience in to where he is, and where he is is beautiful, man.

I've seen NICK THUNE perform 'live' and also on television, in motion pictures and in short films made-for-video and I'll tell you, he is so funny that-and I swear this is true- I am laughing out loud as I type this, just thinking of things he's said, done. I once wrote to him about a video short he did where, at the end, he's singing to his beautiful girlfriend. My note was full of typos because as I was typing, I was laughing my ass off!


Years ago, a home run in baseball was a rare thing. It was. Most players didn't hit homers; the game was played unlike it is today. I suspect that if he really wanted to, NICK THUNE could hit most balls out of the park, but he's playing a different game and he's doing it in his own authentic way.

Let's tune-into The Tonight Show with JAY LENO on Wednesday and watch NICK THUNE do his thing. I know it's gonna be beautiful. Oh, they'll be some great shots hit hard and high and plenty others softer and subdued down front. And there's the chance that he'll miss a few here and there and- well, that's gonna be exciting.

"NICK THUNE is subdued, not some dude."
(You may quote me).


Saturday, September 25, 2010


JOANNA KRUPA, dance partner of my boy DEREK HOUGH, is a PETA angel.

Monday, September 20, 2010


To the many celebrities who feel the burden of fame, I refer you to FRANK SINATRA's letter to GEORGE MICHAEL, printed here.

Now I don't really know PARIS HILTON, but I have been around her family. Her great- grandfather, grandfather and other fine family members have done more good than Paris ever thought about doing wrong but I think it's time she got with it. Clark County District Attorney DAVID ROGER gave PARIS HILTON a break today. I know our DA; he's a helluva guy- tough but fair. Now it's time for Ms. Hilton to straighten up and fly right. Oh, and cheer-up. Cheer the hell up!


I was watching EVAN LOWENSTEIN play and sing the other day. One of his many fans requested a song while he was singing and he went right into it, smiling. Here's a singer with a Rock and Country repertoire in the hundreds and female fans in the millions. Evan went from a heartfelt original ballad into a thumping cover of 'Footloose,' smiling all the way.

I've worked with so many top performers, from musicians to magicians and some dangerous acts and serious actors along the way and you know what: I love people who love what they do.

One of the very best specialty acts in the business is a Russian-born performer named ANDREI SOUMIATIN. With his gorgeous wife and talented son. the Soumiatins are great performers and greatful people. They love what they do and audiences love them for it.

The young actor and close-up magician R.J. CANTU, in preparation for a new television project, was out at the LA clubs including Highlands Hollywood and Boulevard 3. R.J. found himself mobbed by friends and fans because people gravitate to those who dig what they do.

Here in Las Vegas, I get to visit with more than my share of beautiful and talented people. DEREK HOUGH, the tough but tender ABC dancer is always gracious and genuinely eager to pose with fans and followers, plus more than willing to send our regards to his sister JULIANNE HOUGH. The never desperate JOSH HENDERSON often causes hysteria with women who worship him from his days on Wisteria Lane. Now stop and think about that for a second. Stars like a highly competitive dancer and a hard working hunk come for a break from the TMZ yet are only too eager to visit with fans, pose for pictures and sign autographs. They love what they do, and it shows. I'd bet some of these overpaid athelets no longer like their sports but I'll happily lay odds that the talented people I mentioned love sharing their God given talents. When Country stars like JARON & THE LONG ROAD TO LOVE spend hours with their fans, those of us who like 'Pray For You,' can spend a buck and download it on iTunes. That's how we vote in America- we support the good people who do so much to enrich our lives.

I ran into an old- time comic the other day. Back in the 70's this headliner was the HIGHEST PAID comedian on the Las Vegas Strip. I grew-up hearing that there was nobody funnier than SHECKY GREENE and when he recognized me, he was sweet enough to come over- and do fifteen minutes so funny that I cried. I did. He shared GEORGE CARLIN and BOB DYLAN stories and, later, I told him I thought that show business today was in good hands. "Why?" Shecky asked. "NICK THUNE," I told him.

I have it made. I do. I get to work with people who love what they do. I'm writing a 'live' show for 'The Masked Magician,' my pal VALENTINO and featuring R.J. CANTU and we're looking at The Palladium on Sunset as a possible venue to stage it. "This is our history, our heritage," I said, so very excited to be creating with my talented friends, to do a thing at the historic Palladium.

When House of H2o features people in bold letters, we are not just name dropping. That'd be gross. The talented people written about are people who love what they do and we love them for it. I've been up night-after-night, writing a sexy story custom made for a guy like JOSH HENDERSON, an actor and singer who is beautiful because he digs what he does.

Thanks to the BOLD and beautiful people I write about, I do, too.


Thursday, September 9, 2010


Do you believe in the power of the written word?

I have been befriended by some of the world's most talented and successful people because they'd read something I'd written and liked it, me.

A superstar singer, not used to being made fun of, was being treated rather unfairly in a series of mean and therefore unfunny Doonesbury strips. This singer heard my response and asked me to write it down and fax it over to his Palm Springs home. I did and for the next week or so, he used the line on stage in front of sold-out concerts all over America.

A longtime Las Vegas resident, a great comic and fine director and one- half the biggest act in show business in the 1950's, liked the way I wrote introductions so much that he ordered them put up on the telepromter without edit. I've heard lyrics I've co-written performed in clubs and of course quotes from my fiction recited to small groups but there's something pretty powerful about hearing your words read out to millions of television viewers during the annual Labor Day telethon.

We launched a show review website that featured my written opinions of 'live' concerts and productions in Las Vegas, Reno/Tahoe, Branson, Missouri and other top entertainment venues and it seemed that just about everyone had an opinion but a well written one can make you real enemies but also earn you some real friends IF you know what you're talking about and are honest about everything you write.

The day that I ran into MICHAEL JACKSON (well, actually, HE ran into ME) rocked my written world. You see, Mike was wheeling around a bookstore in his wheelchair and backed up over my foot . He had been living here in Las Vegas for some time and we both were regulars at a certain Barnes & Nobel and also a local Borders Books. He was embarrassed and apologized. No harm done but when I posted a picture and a note, my blog blew-up, getting tens of thousands of hits just because I wrote about the hitmaker running over my foot.

A while back I wrote a couple thousand words about the-then Number Two player in men's tennis, a young man whom I admire very much, a tough-as-nails competitor who is a monster on the court. Imagine my thrill when, at a Palm Springs event, that tennis star pulled me away from the hundreds screaming for autographs and pictures just to thank me, to say that he read-and liked-my words. I stood there, embarrassed that I didn't speak Spanish, wondering if what I'd written translated well and wishing that I could express my apprecaition, until I remembered that I'd said it all already, in writing.

Those who are successfully using Facebook know that the better you write, the better, right?

Well please know that reading my stuff is an intimate thing. Check with anyone who knows me, or, better yet, ask someone who read me prior to our meeting. I am here, living in these words. I believe in them. You and I both do, right?


Tuesday, September 7, 2010


7 Down: ____________ and Jaron ( identical-twins pop duo).

I'm crazy for this puzzle but let's face it, it must make someone feel great to see their own name in a clue. I used to see FRANK SINATRA doing the NY Times puzzle, in ink, no less, and smiled the day that every clue in the puzzle was Sinatra-related, knowing he dug that but also wondering if even Ol' Blue Eyes got them all right. ( I did).

You know, if you want an 'Evan' clue, you could go with "Jack Daniel's-like booze ________ Williams," or "Mexican-American Third-baseman Tampa Bay Rays' ________ Longoria," but, I think EVAN LOWENSTEIN is the way to go. I mean, this guy is a most creative musician, businessman and honest-to-God internet entrepreneur. I'm crazy for this guy.

So many musicians are wondering what in the hell is happening to the music business. Record companies are going the way of the buggy whip as new artists and established stars are doing their own thing online. That's where StageIt comes in.

I remember driving down to San Diego with my then-girlfriend to see JASON MRAZ, hearing MR. A-Z's songs on the radio and then being blown-away when Jason told us he didn't have a record deal yet. Of course, every label from the Pacific to the Atlantic wanted him but if Jason were starting out today, I'd bet he'd be label-less.

Too many performers are complaining about the state of the industry but the real creative people are doing something about it. Which brings us to EVAN LOWENSTEIN. Yup, THAT Evan, the identical twin of the pop duo Evan & Jaron, who brought us the hit 'Crazy For This Girl,' and several other fine songs including one of my favorites, 'What She Likes.' Brother Jaron and The Long Road to Love hit the charts hard with 'Pray For You,' breaking the Top- 20 the old fashioned way: with hard work. Early on, we picked 'Pray For You' and are proud of the success, brought, in part, by using new online platforms including Evan's STAGEIT. Now this is a helluva great tool for musicians of every level.


Performers see StageIt as a way to broadcast their shows to paying customers, fans who are into their stuff and are glad pay to see up -close concerts and behind-the- scenes performances. Fans think of StageIt this way: a VIP ticket to some very cool music.

You have to hand it to EVAN LOWENSTEIN. He's acheived pop stardom as a singer-songwriter and USA Character and now is using his knowledge and talent to help others solve the crossword puzzle that is today's music scene.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Likability-- From RAFAEL NADAL to JAKE T. AUSTIN

RAFAEL NADAL is a monster on the tennis court, a never give up, always improving raging bull, a force of nature dead set on winning. Tune in and see for yourself. Tonight I watched him on TV, from the U.S. Open. Dressed in skintight black, he looked like something out of Marvel Comics, an unsmiling superhero or perhaps a likable villian.

Off the court, RAFAEL NADAL is just about the sweetest guy you'd ever hope to meet, a soft spoken gentleman sincerely interested in what you have to say.

I've been thinking about likability lately, about how important it is for popular people to be likable- not just charming or cute, but really likable.

Over the past twenty years, I've advised, managed, hired (and fired) plenty of performers here in Las Vegas, and I've seen just about every successful star we have and I'll tell you a secret: the best are the ones who allow you to like them. Let the reality "stars" do their thing; their lives-real or otherwise-are likely to be short-lived.

I was so impressed by comic-magician JUSTIN KREDIBLE (JUSTIN WILLMAN) that I co-wrote a TV sitcom around his likable talents. It is rare indeed to find a magician you want to go have a beer with, even after he vanished your wallet. How does he do it? He's got the likable thing down!

I was watching The Disney Channel one night, looking for Justin, who was appearing on The Suite Life on Deck. I left the channel on and really enjoyed The Wizards of Waverly Place. Here's why: JAKE T. AUSTIN


Yup, the kid is cool as hell. Now I knew DOM DELUISE and am proud of his son, David. Young SELENA GOMEZ is cute as can be but Jake is the most likable guy on the entire DIsney network for serious. You know, so many sitcom characters come on, do their line just knowing it's funny, and then are followed by more laugh lines and other crazy characters and bla bla bla. By the end of the show, you've forgotten the episode because everything was just so forgettable. TV shows have become disposable, interchangable and forgettable. But not JAKE T. AUSTIN. This guy looks like he's having a great time, like he's liking what he's doing. I know the public is. From the mostly female fans to others who just admire a talented guy cool enough not to act cool, JAKE T. AUSTIN is likable to the max.

Saturday, August 21, 2010


DIGEUS knows their stuff.
Check-out their Digeus System Optimizer, or, if you like, give ALISE JOHNSON a shout.

Your computer will thank you. Okay, that'd be spookie if your computer actually, ya know, said "Thank You," but, it'll tell you in other ways.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


When I was a kid, I'd wish for things. I still do, but, back in the day, I'd talk about my wishes, and my dear mother used to say to me, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." That was heavy. I mean, I was just a kid.

Now that I'm bigger, you'd think my wishes would have grown, but they haven't. Not really. When I was a teen, most of my dreams involved Charlie's Angles or The Los Angeles Dodgers. Today, staring into the reflecting water poolside, I find myself reflecting, too, and for whatever reason, I've decided to share.


1. I really want to hang out for at least one evening with TMZ's MAX HODGES. I mean, just to see the world (the bar, the surf, the chicks) through his eyes for one night would be big fun.

2. I so want to sit in the shadows and listen in while a comic genius like NICK THUNE works on new material. To hear him writing songs, fine-tuning his stuff is the stuff my dreams are made of.

3. A regular dream takes place backstage at a major Las Vegas production show and involves G-strings, feather boa's and high heels. And, in case FRANK MARINO won't let me in, CRAZY GIRLS, X Burlesque or CRAZY HORSE will do nicely.

4. I wanna turn on network television and be surprised by a plotline, entertained by variety and excited by something new. JUSTIN KREDIBLE starring in his own original sitcom would be a helluva start.

5. Speaking of TV, most of those limp dicks on the CW can't go away fast enough for me. Young STEVEN McQUEEN (yup, the grandson of one of the greats) is the coolist guy on the CW today. I wish for him to kill all those lame vampires ASAP.

6. THE MASKED MAGICIAN has spent the past few years showing how certain illusions might be performed, entertaining television audiences around the globe. I wish that those other magicians who bitched about these shows would join in a worldwide effort to do some real magic. I say start with the problem of lack of clean water for 900 million people, get cool guys like R.J. CANTU and others involved.

7. I wish that people would shut the hell up about immigration, at least for a while. If they want to get serious, move all of our military bases from the California coast to along the Mexican border.

8. I wish that everyone who ever gave me shit growing up could see me right now, poolside in Las Vegas, surrounded by two very sexy showgirls with no tan lines.

9. I wish Dairy Queen delivered.

10. I wish you a creative week.

-Willie Watters

Friday, August 6, 2010


I watched daytime TV today. 'The View.' No, really, I did. All those women talking all at once was like some kind of torture. I felt like a guy who lost his voice and found himself locked in the ladies room, with nothing to do but listen. Geez!

Television today sucks. It is unimaginative, tedious and trifling. But when I was growing up, it was better.

I tuned-into 'The View,' to catch the always likable JUSTIN WILLMAN (AKA JUSTIN KREDIBLE) promote his Food Network show 'Cupcake Wars.' He was good... he always is.

Less and less people are watching television and the reason is television is less and less good. Programs are worse as commercials get better. If this keeps up, it'll be just one big colorful smear. But I can fix it, if you'll let me.

Dear Hollywood:

May I suggest: MATCH GAME '10.

'Match Game' was a nice gameshow, a 'Hollywood Squares, Lite,' that ran on CBS and later in syndication. I say bring it back.
Gene Rayburn was a pleasent, affable host and guests like Charles Nelson Reilly, Brett Somers and especially Richard Dawson made for a fun half hour of televsion.

MATCH GAME '10 should be hosted by JUSTIN WILLMAN, with newer versions of the 70's stars. Instead of CNReilly, maybe Andy Dick. Brett Somers was fine, and today, Kathy Griffin would be great. As for the always clever Dawson? Well, NICK THUNE would do nicely, mate.

Hey TV executives, here's an idea: ENTERTAIN US! There is no lack of talent, personalities with whom I know America would love to spend some daytime.

If you guys ignore my suggestion, then you are (BLANK) heads.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Here's a great quote from JASON MRAZ:

"Life isn’t waiting for you when you get there. It’s happening right now."

I love it, him.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


Here are some images from Hollywood and beyond.

I'm coming out of the men's room at The Magic Castle. On the wall just to my right is a well framed photo of a magician and his beautiful and buxom assistant. I look over from the picture and see her, in the flesh, talking to my best friend. She is the owner of the World Famous Magic Castle and my friend is one of the most famous magicians in the world, VALENTINO, The Masked Magician. His television specials and series air all over the globe.

I'm backstage of the main room in the Magic Castle introducing VALENTINO to another magician who has figured out TV, an impressive young star who continues to impress. JUSTIN KREDIBLE, the #1 act on college campuses is also a television favorite, hosting this summer's fresh hit 'Cupcake Wars,' on the Food Network.

The next day, in West Hollywood, where the paparazzi never miss a thing, I'm stopped and asked why I'm in a lunch meeting with a few famous people. One photographer, ready snap me, pauses and asks if I am anybody. "What do you do?" he asks. "I'm a writer," I tell him. He frowns, lowers his camera and heads off to find someone who is somebody.

Later that night, VALENTINO and I pass by The Body Shop, you know, to say 'Hi' to the girls, girls, girls, and then, at a classy joint on Sunset Blvd, have a Caesar salad with R.J. CANTU, a cool young guy who divides his time between acting and magic. This photo could have been called 'The Young and the Rest of Us.'

I'm in Palm Springs, at the grave of a great man. Then, not far from there, I find the headstone of JILLY RIZZO, who was FRANK SINATRA's right hand man and my good friend. I look up at the mountains and decide that I really don't like Palm Springs anymore.

I'm back home in Las Vegas this morning and thought I'd share some of the images of the past few days.

Maybe that Hollywood photographer was right, maybe pictures matter more than words, but, I'm betting the other way.

I wish you a creative week.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully explain to you what Las Vegas means to me, but I"ll keep working at trying to describe the most unique town America has to offer, a place you can call 'magicial' and mean it. I love Las Vegas.

LV wasn't always my home, LA always will be.

I'm heading to California for a week of meetings and, maybe, somewhere between the PR lunches and show business stuff, something real might happen. In fact, I'm betting on it.

I am an angel, originally, and I make a point to do what I can, when I can, to shake the desert dust that tends to build up on my wings. Nothing like Los Angeles to fluff-up your feathers and as for flying too close to the sun, well, I don't worry about such things.

I'm looking forward to visiting a magic Mountain and a Castle that's always been magic for serious. I have some words to say and flowers to lay at the resting place of family and there are a few friends alive and well who could maybe benefit from a little more laughter I might bring their way. I have so much to say. Some can no longer hear, others may not want to listen but here's the thing: ever since I overcame a childhood speech impediment, I've not stopped talking. Teachers shushed me, opponents shouted me down and judges have shut me up, but, only briefly.

I hope to update you and my Facebook friends from time to time. I don't think I can visit Southern California without picking up the BEACH BOYS' vibrations. And after the sun sets, I always hear JACKSON BROWNE carried down the wind from some radio.

California in the summer. It might be a holiday from real. Or, maybe, it'll be more than that.


Monday, June 14, 2010


Sunday nights are rather quiet around the casa, and I like it that way, so, hearing that the Food Network was airing a sneek-peek of their Cupcake Wars, to be hosted by my friend JUSTIN KREDIBLE, I decided to stay close to home and hearth and enjoy the program.

What I saw was THE WORST television ever, needlessly brutal, senceless and horrible in every regard. Shockingly indecent.

I haven't seen much TV lately. I mean, I do watch House M.D. over on Fox, just to try and figure out what the hell is wrong with me. After several seasons, I've concluded that whatever it is that's screwing with my vision, it isn't Wagner's disease. (It's never Wagner's, even that dopy Australian doctor with the floppy hair knows that!) But hey, I'm hep. Once I finally found the remote, I starting clicking into the double-digits.

I didn't even know that food had it's own network. Imagine my surprise to learn that basic cable includes all the basics of life: Food, Oxygen and even a network for sleeping (C-Span). There are channels for blacks (BET) whites (Hallmark) and guys who'll never get laid (SyFy). There are so many movie stations that, sometimes, for laughs, it's fun to flip around, just to watch Kevin Spacy's hairline move in and out like the tide.

I was aware that HBO airs some pretty sexy late night stuff but my remote's been acting up ever since that grease fire. Sex is one thing but violence is another (right?) and yet here we are, in the middle of Cupcake Wars.

Last night's Cupcake Wars episode was called, 'Baking Bread,' and man was it fierce. It featured Bryan Cranston as a cook who hired Malcolm as his assistant. In one early scene, ingredients were being picked up and, in the process, several people were shot and killed. It was appalling.

JUSTIN KREDIBLE plays a rather sleazy lawyer. I hardly recognized him. But he was good; Justin's always very good.

I think if Cupcake Wars is going to be successful, The Food Network should consider giving JUSTIN KREDIBLE more screen time, and, try to cut back on the bloodshed. Oh, and maybe have Malcolm man- up.


Thursday, June 10, 2010


Some wonder if they dream in color but when you live in color, the dreams will take care of themselves.

Las Vegas has a past that glows brightly and has a brilliant future for sure, but here in the now, it is unimaginably colorful. The Vegas Strip is an adult playground lit up by neon that glows like electrified Crayolas. If you're ready to paint with all the colors of the desert wind, well then come on.

Las Vegas is a valley that is completely surrounded by red. From the Red Rock Mountains in the west down to the ruddy sandstone bordering Lake Mead, the edges of the cinnamon desert seem to have been splashed-and soaked- with wine. Coming in from the south, visitors are drawn to a distant emerald glow, a green so warm you can almost feel it before you see it. The far off MGM Grand calls out to a childhood memory and the shout of 'We're off," sings in your mind. The MGM has been home to some great entertainers, huge concerts and sporting events but it's Mike Tyson spitting out a fleshy piece of ear that colors my memories tonight.

The Monte Carlo promotes classy LANCE BURTON. As you pass by, your head fills with fluttering images of white doves and then, the darkly handsome CRISS ANGEL reminds us that the magicians may perform here but that magic has always been here.

Like a gentle giant, LOUIE ANDERSON appears at the colorful castle called Excalibur. That bright star to the east is GEORGE WALLACE and, to the west, PENN & TELLER perform inside the red and blue Rio.

Down on the left, well-lit liquid fireworks spray up into the desert sky. I hear 'Claire de Lune' and see George, Brad and Matt projecting their dozens of dreams onto the Bellagio's watery show.

Next door, it's the aqua glow of Caesars Palace that warms the heart. Those famous fountains bring back memories of a white hot motorcycle stunt that came to a bloody halt. Inside was the best showroom in town: Circus Maximus, where a young house pianist, VINNIE FALCONE, accompanied the greatest Las Vegas stars, notably an Italian-American singer known by the color of his eyes. Now, as the summer wind blows in, it's those midnight blue eyes that you see, that seemed to see you. You remember TONY BENNETT in white dinner jacket, doing Caesars midnight shows, DIANA ROSS holding court dressed in colorful gowns and crazy funny HOWIE MANDELL, sending quick-witted comments sparkling into the late night. ANDY WILLIAMS opened the room, in living color and STEVE & EYDIE kept it bright right up until the end. Now there's a colosseum where a Canadian singer chirps out her titanic hit and soon, NEIL DIAMOND will sing songs sung blue. MATT GOSS adds swagger to the limelight on Cleopatra's Barge but it's Sinatra's shadow we all live in.

Rat Packers DEAN MARTIN (Ol' Red Eyes) and SAMMY DAVIS, JR (Ol' Brown Eye) lit up the Bally Grand while down at the Mirage, SIEGFRIED & ROY blended every color under the rainbow during their reign, cut short by that blood-soaked white tiger.

The Riviera, opened by the dazzling LIBERACE found a new life, thanks in part to the clever and colorful producer NORBERT ALEMAN, who brought flesh back to the Las Vegas Strip. Fans are still going crazy for his CRAZY GIRLS. And after a twenty-plus year Riviera run FRANK MARINO flew the cage and is now doing sparkling shows at the Imperial Palace. Splash, the aqua force behind the Rivera's rennaissance, is now but a drop in memory's ocean, but, some of those drops still sparkle.

REDD FOXX's humor may have been blue, but his shows combined black and white in a way that left us all color blind with laughter. Comedians ruled Del Webb's Moroccan themed north end resort back in the day and today, Las Vegas royalty SANDY HACKETT still packs them in at the Sahara.

When the King was in town, the crimson neon 'H' above the Las Vegas Hilton burned brightly. Sadly, it turned out Elvis had a black belt in pharmacology. From suede blue valium to percodan as yellow as his once Flaming Star, EP's nights were all shook up for serious, high atop that Heartbreak Hotel.

Downtown Las Vegas, once dismissed as 'Glitter Gulch' will shine brightly well into the forseeable future, illuminated by millions of LED's that light up a motorcycle thunderdome, a Golden Nugget and at least Four Queens.

The green felt jungle lives by a color code all its own. Casino chips range from red ($5) green ($25) and black ($100) up to pretty purple ($500), orange ($1000) and cool $5000 hot chocolate cheques. Some of the more tony joints play with off-white $25,000 cheques and higher but, deep down, it's all about the green.

Tonight, the Las Vegas Strip's Wynn and Encore shout 'Paydirt,' thanks to STEVE WYNN's insistance on proper glass that always glows golden and, like Las Vegas itself, never loses its luster.


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My profile is considered: "HIGH" 40-ish, 6 foot-ish, slim-ish, trim-ish straight-ish, late-ish, creative-ish... I am an unashamed HETRO* *Heterochromatic(one green eye, one hazel-ish).