Monday, August 3, 2009
I'm watching The Discovery Channel last night. It's only the first night of 'Shark Week,' and I'm already starting to freak out a little.
So here's the scene: a diver splashes into chum-filled waters, sharks circling from every direction. And a guy on the boat calls out, "Be careful!"
Be careful? Really?
What a stupid thing to yell.
That's like dropping off a friend at in-patient rehab with the parting line, "Have fun!"
Or a surgeon asking his patient, right before the anesthesia kicks-in, to "Call me!"
It's like a lawyer turing to his client and saying, just as the life sentence is handed down, "Happy Holidays!"
It was just weird; it made me feel weird.
Yelling 'Be careful' to a guy swimming with man-eating sharks makes no sense, no sense at all. Might as well say, "Don't take any wooden nickles," or "Holler at your boy!"
Another thing: Chum. You know what that is, right? I mean, I could SMELL it from my flatscreen. Yuck-k-k-k! So why does "chum' also mean 'friend?' I mean, I think I understand why Tennessee Tuxedo's fatass stoner walrus buddy is named Chumley, but I don't think I get why 'friend' = 'dead fish.'
"Phineas J. Whoopee- you're the greatest!"
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