Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Mary Hart makes me feel weird. She does. There is no way in hell that Mary Hart is really that enthusiastic to interview , say, Marie Osmond about her stupid brother. But yet, there she is, night after teeth-grinding-night sitting next to Mark Steines prattling on about...well, about nothing. I've worked hard over the years to help get my famous clients' stories out there and Entertainment Tonight, and other such 'news' shows have been pretty generous and always fair, but lately? I just can't watch.

Let me be up-front about the topic of entertainment, okay? I have watched ET forever. Many can tell you where they were on 9-11, but me? I will never forget the day John Tesh retired. Okay, maybe that's a little strong, but I did used to admire Jann CarI and company and didn't join George Clooney's ET boycott. And, I used to tune-into E! in the pre-hottie old days, back when the cable channel had little more than that gossipy guy and his lame talk show. Today-Seacrest aside- I think Jason Kennedy is the nuts, making E! News fresh and interesting to watch, when they aren't all revved-up about those weirdos with the eight kids or the latest Tiger whore who won't keep her mouth shut.

Mario Lopez is pretty cool and Jerry Penacoli is a class act, a real pro over on Extra, but too much of the show is fluffed-up. Now Access Hollywood is total bush-league and totally unwatchable.

Let's face it: all of the entertainment shows, from CNN on down are fake, phonier than a showgirl's bazooms. These shows are totally scripted and devoid of any real news, nothing more than a LA publicist's wet dream. So, I guess, in the end, the wired-up robot Mary Hart is the right person to go through the motions, but please, guys, stop pretending to be reporters, okay? You are not journalists but pimps and we all know it.

Now there is ONE show that is keeping it real, and I mean "maybe they'll sue our ass but here goes" real.


God bless Harvey Levin and TMZ. Seriously. Thirty Mile Zone has broken some huge stories. From Mel Gibson's DUI and Chris Brown's violence to the entire Michael Jackson saga, TMZ keeps on keeping it real.

Now as much as I like the smart guy in the dreads, the sarcastic dude in the cap and the hot girl in the glasses, it is MAX HODGES who steals the TMZ show, night-after-night. Dax has his shit together, selling the snaps he's snapped-up, but the real drama comes from Max.

You see, too many "reporters" seem to take Hollywood stories too seriously. Not Max. Not ever. In fact, I often get the impression that Max is more interested in the hottie than than the Hollywood heavyweight. Tune-in and see for yourself. About half-way through the broadcast, the diminuative Mr. Levin will be grinning that goofy grin watching a dog with sunglasses on his hairy butt (the dog's butt, not Harvey's) and Max will have his arm over his leg, leaning back, smiling, clearly enjoying just being on the show. High on life, you might say. It just makes me feel good.

I think I heard Max say this: "I have some video of Jack Nicholson or Jack Nicklaus or maybe some dude from Nickleback. ANYWAY, somebody famous coming out of Dan Tanna's with a HOT BABE!"

MAX HODGES cares enough not to care too much.

Maybe the adrenalized Mary Hart should try some tree?

Thanks, man.

About Me

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My profile is considered: "HIGH" 40-ish, 6 foot-ish, slim-ish, trim-ish straight-ish, late-ish, creative-ish... I am an unashamed HETRO* *Heterochromatic(one green eye, one hazel-ish).